This semester, the first years are getting a taste of how difficult and anal university can be. With all of the little hoops we have to jump through and one allegedly-satanic prof, we are learning a lot about what to expect over the next four, five, six, or seven years at university. Throughout the semester we've been given all sorts of odd tasks with apparently no relevance to anything we're doing in the future. But already we can see the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, whether it is our first co-op, or a free summer, at least it is enough to keep us going. Sorry if this article sounds a little pessimistic, but I guess that is the feeling of most first years at this point. I know how hard you upper years work, and how you spend 24-7 in the pit, but compared to the fall, this semester is a good deal tougher, as anyone on the new curriculum will tell you. With regards to last semester, and first week, that was fun, and I think that everyone involved deserves a pat on the back. If you want to read my original ENSCquire article on First Week, talk to Tim, if he still has it. But I didn't want to copy it because it was old news. I suppose that is all for now, so I will see you all in the summer.

delusions of a first year
eric charest, assistance vp social

As the official VP nobody-important-guy, I'd like to begin by stating "No, I do not have a key to the office." For the people suffering through CMPT 250, I feel your pain. I've been wondering, does anybody else wonder why the text book material seems so unrelated to VHDL?

I guess I should mention something in the capacity of Assistant to High Priest of Pool. The first years are coming along really well, and our attendance is up. Two first years are now threatening to break the top ten, with Eric Charest and Paco Don making damn fine appearances the past few weeks (especially since Eric didn't go). Paco put a beautiful game against the High Priest of Pool and only lost due to some crappy playing near the end. Alex Dunfield has found himself a comfortable hiding place at #26, so we need to drag his sorry ass out and beat him again. Either that or he needs to come out and park himself with the other first years near the top.

As a plungee, I'd like to send Naomi Ko my sincerest thanks for having me thrown in the pond. It was, all in all, a very pleasant experience (until the pond slime started congealing on my skin in class afterwards). This article, too, is being written under duress (and censorship) of Tim Norman, so if I have cuts and scrapes on my person, it's because Tim is cruelly dictating this dialogue to me, to type to you. Now, if you've read all this, you must REALLY be bored, and/or severely neglecting your homework. So I'd suggest you desist reading my drivel and go do something better with your time. Unless it's Waikia, in which case, this is something better with your time. That's all for now.

the wrath of cam
cam kenny, vp university affairs

Greetings from your humble odour-destroying-vermin-catching-fridge-guy. Another month, another Enscquire, another opportunity to scrape some of that garbage out of the fridge. Only three things squeaked when I poked them this time, so we're progressively getting better. There have been a couple incidents where the leftovers resembled what I saw on the bottom of the pond during Polar Plunge, and believe me, it wasn't pretty. The Endowment Fund has been looked after, and all of the details should be taken care of shortly. Hopefully this doesn't present any problems for anyone. It's been a busy while for the 1st years, and I'm sure we're all licking our wounds after the back-to-back midterms in CMPT 101 and 250. Everybody keep their heads up, and everything will fall into place. If anyone can get the last few CAPA problems, email me. That's about everything.