It started out harmlessly enough. Five of us decided to register in ENSC 435, Design for Reliability with Dr. Andrew Rawicz, this semester. Little did we know that behind this docile man from Poland was a much deeper persona, that of _

ANDRETTI RAWICZ!!!

It was getting late in the semester, and Andrew had promised us a field trip. Finally it was arranged. We were going down to visit a company called AllianceTech Systems in Everett, Washington. So we all gathered in the lower ENSC lab on a chilly Tuesday morning and waited for Andrew, who would drive us to our destination and back (or so we thought!) The student subjects: myself, Ron Racine, Kevin Maier, Scott Brandon, and John Cavacuiti.

It should have begun to clue in that something might be a tad amiss when we started heading down the hill, and Andrew quipped, "Hokay, doss anyvon know how ve get to ze border?"

We should have known by then that this would be a long (but interesting) trip.

We did mention that he should turn left at the first lights after Lougheed. We had to think fast, as he cruised by, out to set a speed record on his way to the U.S. border. Okay, new plan. Take the freeway.

Well, I must say that we did make it to the border without further incident, but then we got to the border.

"What is your citizenship?"

"All of us," replied Andrew (I guess he missed the question.)

After convincing the border guard that we were all Canadian (even Andrew with thick Polish accent), he then asked us where we were headed. I don't think he knew what was coming. Andrew whipped out the map.

"Ve are going to zis place here, do you know zem? Zey are a really good company in Seattle I think, no, I guess Everett ..."

I think he let us through just to get rid of us.

Hold onto your hats, here we go! Down I-5, and the State Highway Patrol were good enough to leave us alone. Then we came upon the quiet, residential area of Everett. Red brick schools packed with unsuspecting children, quiet country-style lanes, and these strange red, octagonal signs ...

"Stop sign? Vat stop sign, I didn't see one. I vass reading ze map!" Ho boy. Well, luckily we didn't kill any of those innocent, unsuspecting school children. And we did arrive at our destination.

As we climbed back into the van after a very interesting tour of the facilities, Andrew very nicely asked us to look out for stop signs and anything else that might sneak past him.

Back to the border, and this time it was an unsuspecting Canadian border guard who would be left dazed and bewildered by Andrew's stunning wit. There wasn't any line up, so we boldly pulled up to the station, giving no heed to the strategically-placed red light above the station.

"Why didn't you stop at the red light?" the sultry border guard demanded.

But Andrew was too quick for him, and faked him out with a stellar display of feigned ignorance. "Vat red light? Vass there a red light? Vere? I thought it vass yellow! It's not permitted to go on yellow? I really didn't see ..."

I wonder how Andrew drives his boat ...