First, let's establish the players in our tale, although I will not dwell on the personalities themselves. To do so would require a great tome which would leave you, dear reader, bored as heck, even if Kevin agreed to publish the thing. A full eight adventurers took part: Stephen Lam, our glorious president; Cheryl McDonald, VP Academic; Lalit Nathawad, VP Finance; Kevin Cheng, VP Publications; Amy Lu, First Year Rep; Julie Delisle, another First Year Rep; and myself, your humble VP Internal. Note the perfect gender balance. This was not planned, that I am aware of, yet made sleeping arrangements that much more convenient. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

As planned, we left Saturday morning, promptly at 10:00 am (within the bounds of reasonable error). Thinking of future generations and the impending shortage of fossil fuels, we made do with only two cars, six less than the American ideal. Driving at break neck speeds, we managed to mosey into Whistler by about 1:00 pm. It was only then that the awesome power of the EUSS expense account began to be realized.

First stop on the agenda was Misty Mountain Pizza. This place is great for fresh hot pizza with lots of sauce and cheese, and not overly large tumors. Five pizzas later, no one could bring themselves to shove the remaining pieces down their gut, and we figured it was time to move on.

Shuffling over to the village shopping area, wondering how next to spend your cash, two of our younger members eyes lit on a sign and only took a second to start running in anticipation. Unfortunately, the Rubber Rainbow Condom Factory was closed so we agreed we'd stop at Pharmasave later.

With one passion relegated to the back burner, another soon surfaced, and we were off to find the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. After consulting an overgrown hermaphroditic rabbit in a dreadful rush to finish her/his four year engineering degree, and befriending a scarecrow who claimed to have a liberal arts degree but was still out of work, we happened upon a road of yellow bricks that led us into the magical place of fudge and ice cream. Fortunately sufficient time had passed since our gorging on pizza to allow the addition of some sweets to our digestive systems.

Our stomachs topped up, minds quickly turned back to other things and we were off to Pharmasave. After making our purchases, we hit Brussels Chocolates next, and then perused the local book store for any suitable reading matter to heighten the mood. By the time we had explored cocktails and cosmetic surgery, it was 4:00 pm: time for check-in!

The rooms were more than adequate. Two bedrooms for privacy, two bathrooms, full kitchen, hide-a-bed sofa, TV, VCR, and even a gas fireplace. After the initial enthusiasm for testing out the beds died down, we settled in to the hard core business of the EUSS executive. Contrary to appearances, it's not all fun and games, free lunches, and expensive hotel rooms.

Agenda item one was to ponder the conundrum of EUSS executives not fulfilling the duties of their positions. Why an unpaid, highly overworked, student volunteer would not make EUSS work top priority was a mystery to all present. We agreed that should such a phenomenon rear its ugly head, another more devoted, eager, and unsuspecting individual should be found and the switch of executives made with everyone's consent. Willingness to show a smiling face at weekly meetings would be considered a definite asset.

After quickly checking our backs to remove stray daggers, we proceeded to discuss building comradery among the Faculty of Applied Science, and in particular between Engineering and Kinesiology. Some suggested joint activities were broomball, chess, wall climbing, skiing, video games, debates, theatre sports, paper plane throwing, badminton, karaoke, a talent show, camping, hockey, and a movie night. It's still up for grabs what to do the next week.

Our energy ebbing from such profound and emotional draining discussion, someone suggested we should call the Keg and check on our dinner plans. As it turned out, The Keg couldn't guarantee us seating unless we left immediately, so we did. The Keg was, as always, The Keg: better than average dead cow for less than $30 per person. Let no one discount our judicious pecuniary practices when it comes to public funds.

Bellies brimming once more, we lumbered out into the night, wondering what a group of young adults with a couple of hotel rooms could do with themselves. The obvious answer that sprung to mind was to watch a stimulating video. Remembering a promising rental store not too far from the Pharmasave, we set off on our new quest. After making our selection and convincing the store clerk our ID was valid, it was back to the hotel, officially known as the Radisson Lodge.

As can be imagined, we had one video tape and eight people wanting to watch. Fortunately, unrolling the hide-a-bed provided a perfect platform situated for easy viewing. With a little extra bedding and some imaginative use of the surrounding furniture, all were able to enjoy the full benefit of the taped entertainment. Although this kind of group experience was most certainly a first for most of us, the bonding achieved was definitely a highlight of the retreat.

Rising the next morning with a new sense of purpose from our bonding activities the night before, we quickly dressed and made our way to A&W for breakfast, the expense account having run dry from the evening's revelries. In all fairness to the good people of A&W, the bear bacon was remarkably tasty, despite the lack of ambience.

Driving home gave us time to reflect on our experience. Why were we there? Why was everyone honking at us? What did those stripes on the pavement mean? What would the repercussions of our bonding be? What possessed us to do those things together? Why did we have to go to Whistler to rent a hotel room? If real politicians do this on a much larger scale on a regular basis, why haven't they been drawn and quartered? How much space can we fill in the Enscquire pontificating pathetic premises of preposterous proportions? The answer, my friend, ...