Lengthy Noun Strings

Another form of jargon found in technical and scientific documents involves stringing adjectives and nouns together (i.e., the event list buffer overflow error or the predicted ambient total suspended particulate concentrations). These noun strings are a useful aspect of technical language, providing a group of experts with short expressions for complex ideas. Noun strings become a problem, however, for readers who are not familiar with the concepts being discussed. When nouns are used to modify other nouns, readers have difficulty determining the logical relationships among the words in the string; consequently, readers may interpret an expression in ways the writer did not intend. The following diagram illustrates the pattern for lengthy noun strings.



Some Pointers
  1. Break up noun strings with prepositional phrases.

  2. If possible, turn some nouns into verbs.

  3. Use hyphens to indicate closely related words.

  4. Use acronyms when feasible.

  5. Eliminate words that are not needed in the noun string.

  6. Three nouns in a string is hard to understand; four or more nouns in a string is excessive.


Start Exercise

All of the following examples were excerpted from reports intended for readers who lack technical expertise, and the writers are using expressions that are part of the technical language of their working groups. Other people who work closely with them have no trouble understanding the original. But this technical language may be ambiguous, confusing, or incomprehensible for readers outside the group. The less the reader knows about the topic under discussion, the greater the problem.


Hint
1. Original:

The wind pattern was further illustrated following a recovery boiler electrostatic precipitator fire at the site in 1988.

1.Hinted:

The wind pattern was further illustrated following a recovery boiler electrostatic precipitator fire at the site in 1988.

1. Revised:

Hint
2. Original:

Because the predicted ambient total suspended particulate concentrations met Department of Environment, Lands and Parks' Level B ambient air quality objectives, a further evaluation was not required.

2. Hinted:

Because the predicted ambient total suspended particulate concentrations met Department of Environment, Lands and Parks' Level B ambient air quality objectives, a further evaluation was not required.

2. Revised:

Explanation

Note that the original versions contain fewer words than the revised versions, but you can read the revised text more quickly and comprehend more of what you read more easily. You should be less concerned with how many words you use than with how quickly a reader can read and comprehend what you have written.


Next, you can hyphenate nouns that function as adjectives. Hyphenation makes noun strings easier to read by indicating relationships and reducing the number of words in a string:

Hint
3. Original:

Team members must understand that behaviour oriented activities are just as important as task oriented activities.

3. Hinted:

Team members must understand that behaviour oriented activities are just as important as task oriented activities.

3. Revised:


Also, you can sometimes avoid awkward noun strings by removing unnecessary words, which is the approach used in the following example:

Hint
4. Original:

Hence, a method must be devised to alleviate the slow response performance problem.

4. Hinted:

Hence, a method must be devised to alleviate the slow response performance problem.

4. Revised:

Explanation

In this case, we revised in two steps. First, we noted that performance is redundant because a slow response defines the nature of the performance. Further, in the context in which the original sentence was written, a slow response is clearly a problem, making this final word redundant as well. We could have stopped revising at this point, but when we read our first revision, we noted that alleviate the slow response was more directly expressed as speed up the response. In this case, revising for the noun string was just the first step in communicating more clearly.



When you are writing about technical topics for non-expert audiences, revise for noun strings using these four methods: add prepositions, add verbs, hyphenate, and eliminate unnecessary words.