SFU Style

Wordy Phrases

Advice given to avoid wordy phrases is useless in and of itself. The problem for many writers lies in recognizing the source of wordiness and developing effective revision strategies. Many writers have created major problems in their writing by responding inappropriately to the criticism that they are too wordy. Wordiness is too subjective a notion to guide revision. Instead, you must revise for specific features such as nominalizations, talkie verbs, passive constructions, and empty openers.

You should also become familiar with common wordy phrases. Some of the more common expressions and possible substitutions are listed in the following three tables. Revise as many of these wordy phrases as possible from your writing.

Some Pointers

We all use wordy phrases that we pick up in conversation or from TV.

Learn to recognize your favourite wordy phrases and edit for them.

Ask a friend or colleague to look for them in your writing if you have difficulty recognizing them.

Start Exercise

For example, the following revision uses a substitute.

Hint

1.Original:

This meteorological data file was chosen due to the fact that the mill is also located on the north side of the valley. (23 words)

1.Hinted:

This meteorological data file was chosen due to the fact that the mill is also located on the north side of the valley. (23 words)

1. Revised:

Hint

2. Original:

This report is an attempt to identify those areas that could be improved and make recommendations on how they might change for the better. (24 words)

2. Hinted:

This report is an attempt to identify those areas that could be improved and make recommendations on how they might change for the better. (24 words)

2. Revised:

Hint

3. Original:

It is necessary that someone make a decision on a personal basis due to the fact that the preponderance of us cannot form a consensus of opinion about how to bring the matter to a conclusion. (36 words)

3. Hinted:

3. Revised: