Vague "This" Subjects

Many writers develop the habit of using the single word this (or that, these, those, or even it) as an all-purpose subject to point back to what I just said or to everything I’ve been talking about. The problem with using this on its own as a subject is that writers assume the reference is obvious. But far too often, the reader concludes something different or must reread a passage to figure out what the writer had in mind. The following diagram illustrates the pattern for vague "this" subjects.



 

To help ensure that your subjects establish necessary connections, develop a habit of always following this with a noun or descriptive phrase: this problem, this situation, this state of affairs, this antiquated approach, and so on. As you read through the following sentences and their revisions, note how vague "this" subjects make you reread or lead you to a different conclusion from that suggested in the revision.


Some Pointers
  1. Place a word or phrase immediately after the word "this" when it starts a sentence.

  2. Avoid strings of vague "this" subjects.

 
Start Exercise

The first example demonstrates what can happen when this is habitually used as a subject.


Hint
1.Original:

The use of lower wind speeds in the dispersion model tends to predict higher ambient concentrations. This is an additional reason to use Northland meteorological data in the dispersion model.

1.Hinted:

The use of lower wind speeds in the dispersion model tends to predict higher ambient concentrations. This is an additional reason to use Northland meteorological data in the dispersion model.

1. Revised:

Explanation

How did we decide that this conservative approach was the subject of the second sentence? Actually, the writers had to tell us. This does not refer back to something earlier in the paragraph, or even to something earlier on the page, but to a concept mentioned 10 pages earlier in the report.


Clearly, readers could not be expected to make a connection with references to a conservative approach that was last mentioned that many pages earlier. And yet, because the writers knew the point they were trying to make, they failed to notice the vague subject. Adding a noun or phrase after this ensures that key words are repeated often enough to keep readers on track.


The next example demonstrates a more common problem relating to vague subjects. Read the original; then try adding a noun or phrase to clarify the subject; then check the solution.


Hint
2. Original:

The incremental contribution of the emissions to the ambient hydrocarbon contributions would be only 31% of the average annual hydrocarbon concentrations measured by the monitor at the site. This would only occur for a relatively short period of time under the scenario of the "worst case" meteorological conditions.

2. Hinted:

The incremental contribution of the emissions to the ambient hydrocarbon contributions would be only 31% of the average annual hydrocarbon concentrations measured by the monitor at the site. This would only occur for a relatively short period of time under the scenario of the "worst case" meteorological conditions.

2. Revised:

Explanation

You may have noticed that the revised subject (This extra contribution) helps clarify the point of the previous sentence. Avoiding vague "this" subjects can thus reduce the chance that readers must reread the previous sentence in an attempt to make sense of what you have written. Ensuring precise subjects is particularly important when readers have little technical expertise or little knowledge of a subject. In either case, they need frequent repetition and restatement of key points to understand and retain information.


Without prior knowledge, readers may be unable to decide how to interpret a vague subject. Note the number of possible interpretations for the second sentence in the following original example:


Hint
3. Original:

RNB is a large, well managed technology company with dedicated people possessing generous amounts of skill and experience. This has been externally validated by our ISO 9000 certifications and SEI level 2 rating.

3. Hinted:

RNB is a large, well managed technology company with dedicated people possessing generous amounts of skill and experience. This has been externally validated by our ISO 9000 certifications and SEI level 2 rating.

3. Revised:

Explanation

Note that the most likely references in the first sentence are plural. Vague "this" subjects can be doubly difficult to interpret when a singular this is meant to refer to a plural concept.


As demonstrated in the following example, the subject should sometimes be something different from this (or these) plus a noun or phrase. Also note that vague subjects often appear in several sentences in a row, further reducing the chances of clear communication.


Hint
4. Original:

The next recommendation is to clarify the rewards structure. This is required to maintain motivation on projects where many extra hours are required and no overtime policy exists. This can be critical for commitment from employees.

4. Hinted:

The next recommendation is to clarify the rewards structure. This is required to maintain motivation on projects where many extra hours are required and no overtime policy exists. This can be critical for commitment from employees.

4. Revised:

Explanation

Readers need clear connections and repetition of key points. Revising your work to remove the vague subjects can significantly improve how well your ideas flow for readers.