Descriptive Verbs

Developing a verb-based style is particularly important because verbs largely control the power and clarity of written communications. Like the engine of a car, verbs are the power plants of your sentences. Verbs move sentences. Like a car with a worn-out engine, a sentence with a worn-out verb does not function properly. It stalls. And if you stall too often, readers become irritated and start honking their horns. Excessive or inappropriate use of the verb to be and talkie verbs, which we explain below, are often encountered in writing. Happily, they are relatively easy to revise for, as long as you can extract more descriptive alternatives from your memory.

Despite the benefits of using descriptive verbs, most writers' tendency to overuse to be may be explained by our heavy reliance on it when we speak. In fact, when we speak, we rely heavily on a whole family of talkie verbs (do, make, give, go, etc.). Because we use them so frequently, they are the verbs most likely to come to mind while we are writing. Unfortunately, they are so imprecise that they can be interpreted in too many ways. Thirty of these worn-out talkie verbs are listed in the following table. Revise to limit them in your writing.



 

Many of these verbs have accumulated a vast array of meanings over the centuries. Listing the various meanings of the verb make, for example, requires a full 13 pages in the Oxford English Dictionary; listing the meanings of the verb go requires a similar number of pages. This potential ambiguity is not particularly evident in speech because listeners can ask clarifying questions, and speakers can monitor the audience to guard against misunderstandings. In writing, you can provide no such clarification and must keep your use of talkie verbs to a minimum.


Some Pointers
  1. Learn to recognize the verbs you most commonly use in speech and edit for them.

  2. Look for the "real" verb hidden in a nominalization following the talkie verb.

  3. Use a good thesaurus to suggest alternatives.

  4. If you use a dictation program, you must learn to edit for this pattern!

 
Start Exercise

The following two examples demonstrate a common coupling of talkie verbs and nominalizations. Note that the revisions are both more concise and easier to process mentally.


Hint
1.Original:

Her report makes a recommendation that we do a study of the problem. (13 words)

1.Hinted:

Her report makes a recommendation that< we do a study of the problem. (13 words)

1. Revised:


Hint
2. Original:

The committee had made the following series of recommendations. (9 words)

2. Hinted:

The committee had made the following series of recommendations. (9 words)

2. Revised:

Explanation

When talkie verbs and nominalizations appear together, revising is often a fairly straightforward process of eliminating the talkie verb and turning the nominalization into a verb.


The verb to be and other talkie verbs also appear frequently in unnecessarily long verb phrases.


Hint
3. Original:

The term "domain expertise" is used to describe some of the responses we can make. (15 words)

3. Hinted:

The term "domain expertise" is used to describe some of the responses we can make. (15 words)

3. Revised:

Explanation

In this example, we simply eliminated an unnecessary passive (is used) and then replaced we can make with our potential to remove the remaining talkie verb. Earlier we suggested that nominalizations (i.e., responses) often signal an opportunity to shift to a more verb-based style. Note, however, that you must pay attention to what else is going on in a sentence to determine the best revision strategy. In this case, we chose to avoid the talkie verb and not to worry that response could be revised as respond. Keep in mind that all the structures we identify are problems only when misused or overused. They all serve useful purposes. You do not want to eliminate any verbs from your writing, but you do want to break the habit of relying heavily on to be and talkie verbs.


We offer one more example as a reminder that talkie verbs are habit forming:


Hint
4. Original:

If they believe they would spend their own money this way, they go ahead and make the purchase because they know they are doing the right thing. This gives people ownership as well as the responsibility to make the decisions that directly impact their project. As the company grows at such a rapid rate, there may not be enough structure or direction for the new employees to make these decision. They also may not know who to go to for the directions to help them. (80 words)

4. Hinted:

If they believe they would spend their own money this way, they go ahead and make the purchase because they know they are doing the right thing. This gives people ownership as well as the responsibility to make the decisions that directly impact their project. As the company grows at such a rapid rate, there may not be enough structure or direction for the new employees to make these decision. They also may not know who to go to for the directions to help them. (80 words)

4. Revised:




As part of your overall revision strategy, identify talkie verbs, note whether you use to be habitually, and replace as many of these imprecise verbs as possible. Revising to increase the descriptive power of your verbs has the added benefit of increasing the number of verbs in your working vocabulary. That is, revising for weak verbs increases your on-hand cache of dynamic verbs, improving the chances that the first verb you think of will be something other than to be or a talkie verb.